Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The magnetic attraction of bad decisions: The relationship edition.

Today, while my music was on shuffle I came across one of my favorite John Legend songs, "Again". I love John Legend , because his voice is like velvet,  and often times if I can't presently relate to his lyrics, I can relate to him based on my past experiences.

So the lyrics of the song are fairly simple, he speaks about how he met this woman, and they both confirmed they were wrong for each other, they fought, they loved, they broke up, and continued to repeat the process. Sound familiar?

We've all been there. What makes people press the reset button on relationships? Could be anything really, their smile, their ability to help you with your problems, they're.. physical attributes. There could be a number of reasons. But there is some sort of force that attracts you to a person that often is difficult to extinguish.  But despite of it all, those wonderful attributes that they have, and the way they make you feel. All that fun and passion comes with a price. Often times as happy as that person can make you, they could make you feel equally as low.

So for those of you who are experiencing these woes I have a remedy for you!

1. For everything in life, you can always develop a list of pros and cons to help you "evolve from chaos" . Is this friendship/relationship good for you? When you establish your personal marker for the person you want to be, and the person you presently are, is this person hindering you from reaching this potential? Are they holding you back, or distracting you from your focus? Are you compromising your morality/religious beliefs?  If the answer is yes.. then.. it would be best for you to extinguish all forms of communication immediately.

2. Is this relationship merely physical? If that's not what you want.. move on! If all you really want is a physical relationship, then.. hey ENJOY IT! Stay safe on that one!

3. Are you holding onto this relationship because you believe that the "love market" and/or "friendship market" is slim pickings; and you two have this expansive history over x amount of years? There are a lot of things that in history, needed to be changed,( ie, women's right to choose, ending slavery, women's right to vote, APARTHEID). All those things changed, and they worked out for the better right? Don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from achieving your ideal, it's okay to be alone, and it's certainly okay to have some freedom!

4. You're not ready. Well in that case, I always say, "When you're ready to leave something, you'll know." So if this is the case, stay put. Let time deliver the message and the answer that you need.

Just my thoughts of the day folks. Enjoy your afternoon!