30's the New 20!

Instead of working, like I should be doing, I decided to speak to my good people. I would first like to apologize for my hiatus. I had so many things on my mind, that I neglected the simple discipline to actually write them down. Shameful really, I'm also expecting so I probably forgot to a few times.  I think saying   (I'm Expecting); while speaking to anyone gives you a free pass for everything! You're pulled over, " Officer I'm so sorry, I'm expecting, I'm so preoccupied with bringing life into the world, that I totally missed that light!", or, "Yes I'm eating an entire HAM, I'm expecting." Let's dig into that a bit, can I tell you how irritating it is to be pregnant sometimes? There are people that are built for it, the ones who glow like the sunshine, and they're always happily prancing around with their barbecued turkey legs. They take pictures of themselves every 3 minutes reveling in the essence of life. That

For those of you who are outwardly prudish or aren't comfortable with having an adult discussion about sex, I suggest you closeout  right now. It's going to going to start to feel like the red room in a minute. (NOT REALLY)  I was hesitant about writing a post like this, because I shudder at the thought to think that my christian friends, aunties, and coworkers, will get the wrong impression of who I am. However, I'm quite proud of being a sexual human being, and I'm proud of sharing some of the knowledge I have. Hopefully it'll open up dialogue enough to learn some new things from my cyber friends as well. Have you ever wanted to spice up your relationship and just can't come up with anything that makes you comfortable? He  may have suggested something to you, and you just don't feel comfortable?  Sisterfriends, you have to channel your feminine mystique and let go of the good girl image. Here's a suggestion, become someone else. A lot of couples us

#Robin Thicke for those of you who aren't familiar; is Justin Timberlake's more soulful, seemingly more mature doppelganger. Recently he and his wife, Paula Patton have separated and he's channeled all of his energy into trying to get her back. On every new single he's released and in every public appearance he looks like he's lost his best friend. Basically, he's looking like a swag-less pitiful shell of a person due to a bunch of bad decisions. Not really clear on what happened exactly but given the new music he's come out with it, he's compromised the security she felt with being married to a "sex symbol". And let's be clear on something, he wasn't a sex symbol in high school when they first started their relationship. Over time, and most likely due to her help, he became a super star. Don't get me wrong , he did the work, he had the skill, but he was motivated due in part by a very strong support system. My question isn'

While reading through my Facebook newsfeed, and the blogs I subscribe to, I found out that Chris Brown was released from jail a few days ago. Due to his probation violation tied to the domestic violence charge received in 2009. I'm going to get down and dirty about this, so those of you who are tired of people loving on a domestic abuser stop reading. Warning given, let's proceed. I don't know Chris Brown personally, but I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a fan of his music and GOD given ability to dance his socks off. So as a result of this, I am worried about him. It's something about a black man that you can see literally self destruct before your eyes that is hard to ignore. He went from, a sweet face, Pepsi selling, double mint gum chewing, dance fiend; to an angry tattoo clad adult. I have a young son, who's face is just as sweet and innocent as Chris' was; so as a mom, I'm anxiously awaiting his turn around, as if he was my own baby. Too ma

Remembering Literary Royalty  My first blog post if you can recall mentioned my need to emulate the poise of my idols who impacted my childhood. Maya, who served as more of a friend, and a mentor, to many women, over her 40 plus year literary tenure is so special, that her name immediately provides me peace. There are many things that can be said about her, and like, many influential people the news of her passing has brought a wave of bittersweet remembrance. We are all selfish of our own personal memories of her. But her work, still lives on, but like the timeless angel she is, we all expected her to live , in the present form forever. At 86 years of age, she was called to her truest form today. She will be surely be missed by those who have been touched by her words, be it written or oratory. When I first met Maya, I was an inquisitive young girl who noticed, that my mother had several books written by her, all with yellow pages. So by then they were obviously very old. I

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend who was giving me an update on a budding relationship. She's a strong independent woman who has decided to have a physical relationship with a man, but to maintain a publicly platonic relationship (sex with no strings). She says that she doesn't want to get any emotional attachments with the man so she's been having problem with him kissing her in the mouth. (The first thought I had of this was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) . Anyhow, she says that kissing is far too intimate and would rather not be that close to him. The wheels started to turn in my head and I thought, humn, I should do some research on this. And so I did, I polled about 15 people for a mini research project( only the folks that know my questions can sometimes, get sexual and they wouldn't cringe by participating). So guess what I asked them?  1. Do you believe kissing is more intimate than sex?  2. Can you have sex with someone for the firs

Hi Ladies, This message is specifically tailored for you. There are times when we're new to a relationship that we have a tendency to "over share". I'm sure everyone can relate to acting irrationally at times when they wished they shouldn't. Here's a few things that I  believe should not be brought up and/or exhibited, early while dating, midway through a relationship, or even in your marriage. 1. Do not tell your current love interest illicit details about your last relationships. This includes, who your best partner was, how much more money your ex has over your current lover, what you LOVED about him, and other things that you wouldn't want to know about his exes. This is important because it will make you look as though, you're still hung up on the past and  you'll look like blabber mouth who does in fact kiss and tell. Besides, do you think he really wants to know about these things? Not to mention, if you give away all of your secre

A lonely wife sits at her cubicle at work, thinking about how strange her husband has been behaving recently. He has come home angry, he falls asleep without kissing her good night, he's been working extremely late hours.. all the signs that her life experience has told her were signs of cheating. He wouldn't she thought, "After all we've been through; as much as I put out? " Well, maybe not as much as I used to, this kid keeps me extremely busy, and so does my new job, but he knows I'm dead tired, why wouldn't he understand that?" She sits there, tapping her fingers in heavy thought, wondering if her thoughts are even possible. "This man is a great provider, he is a fantastic father, and before these last couple of weeks, he's been a great husband.. But something just isn't right" . If he was cheating, what would she do, she thought. He is a man, a successful good looking one at that. And those types of men are hard to come by. She

You're eyes meet, his smile melts your heart. Every touch is like an electric shock to your body, sending impulses to your body that have never been awakened or haven't been for some time. You find yourself thinking about him before you go to bed, when you're getting your coffee for work, when you turn on the radio, you're in love. The relationship with this beautiful captivating man has you caught up in the rapture. It escalated quickly, that first encounter has now turned into weeks. He's educated, he's refined, he's perfect for you, except for one thing. He's Married! (And not to you). At wind of this news, where ever you are, you flee the scene like the culprit of a hit and run. What's a girl to do? How do you undo the rapture? "He tells you that he doesn't love her anymore, he never loved her. He's never felt this way for anyone else before. Your connection is spiritual." You're a good girl, you've never done anything

This subject has come up countless times recently, there is an epidemic or a highlighted occurrence that has been sweeping the nation as of recently. The “side chick”, “the other woman”, and “the dip off”; this woman is known by many names and caused peril and frustration to the masses. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 has always said;   “ What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;   there is nothing new under the sun. ”   This clearly states that anything that is believed to be a new trend is in fact a repeat of what has already been. There’s always been another woman, but what does seem to be new is the glorification of infidelity. There are reality shows, scripted dramas, and novels that have depicted images of intelligent, beautiful women, of all races as the other woman. Women are sitting on their couches with popcorn glued to the television excited to view the next installment of these “will they won’t they” relationships with hopes that the “side chick” will

 Yes Ladies and Gents , We've all been witness to a very enjoyable last few days  as a result of a recent "sex tape" that has conveniently leaked just before the start of the new season of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. There's no need for me to even give you a synapses;  if you're on social media, which I'm sure you are, you've seen Meme's and Pictures that allow you to be highly informed on what's going on.. So every year I promise myself, I will no longer entertain this foolishness, I am educated, I am a mother, I'm ABOVE THIS.. Truth is.. No I'm not.. Reality TV has continued to be a guilty pleasure in my life and in the lives of  many others. I mean seriously there are all kinds of shows. Home makeover shows, talent reality TV, "partially scripted reality shows, cooking shows, or,  get stuck on an island and walk around naked for weeks. I could keep going but you get the point. They are everywhere. And regardless to who you

A couple of weeks ago there was much hype concerning the Looking A#$ Nig#A Song by Nicki Minaj. From what I can tell the song is basically about how disgusted she is about under achieving men, and it was a mini anthem or wake up call for those bumbs ..  A lot of people were upset by the song title and her frequent usage of the N Bomb. Some men were effected by the track because she highlighted a bunch of bad traits concerning men in the present day. Here's what I know about how African Americans and Latinos utilize this word. This word as we know plagued the  majority Africans and African Americans throughout our stay in the U.S.( Well before the union actually!) African Americans have been documented in saying that the word is used  as a term of endearment. They have also been quoted as saying that it's often used as a direct reflection of under achieving, tacky , common people usually for any race.. The word is disgusting and how people use it is disgusting. But let

So Sorry friends, I've been extremely busy digging through life's messes and spent a lot of time just jotting ideas but not putting the effort in to streamline any of them. There is something very pressing that I would like to share with my good people. There is importance in self worth and how you are perceived by other people. Please don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a no nonsense person that isn't afraid to say what they feel.. however with everything in life there are limits! A little goes a long way.. Some of us have the foot to mouth disease and I have great news. There is a cure.. BE QUIET! Here's a few scenarios when you should exercise the ability to be silent. 1. A friend is going through something extremely trying in their life, and you noticed that they have been stress eating. The stress eating has translated into gaining weight and the outfit that they're wearing isn't very flattering. SHUT UP.. please don't ask them if they've put o

Saturday night I caught a Cosby show marathon. I watched and watched and fell in love with the show all over again. I watched an episode in which Claire was stressed over her work schedule and her 4 children that were home; general blunders of everyday life. Well Cliff asked her if it was the stress of work, or the stress and home and in both cases she answered , No. But she was still super stressed. So this wonderful man decided to help her by setting up a babysitter and taking her out for a romantic hotel stay, renting a limo and taking her to a lovely dinner. Everyone let's stop right there and dissect what I just said. 1. The hard working lawyer wife who has five children is stressed about both her life, and her work. She clearly has no work life balance and yet remains to look flawless. 2. Her doctor husband takes time out of his busy schedule to speak with her every morning, help her with said children. 3. Her doctor husband, who's witty and compassionate says, I

Today, while my music was on shuffle I came across one of my favorite John Legend songs, "Again". I love John Legend , because his voice is like velvet,  and often times if I can't presently relate to his lyrics, I can relate to him based on my past experiences. So the lyrics of the song are fairly simple, he speaks about how he met this woman, and they both confirmed they were wrong for each other, they fought, they loved, they broke up, and continued to repeat the process. Sound familiar? We've all been there. What makes people press the reset button on relationships? Could be anything really, their smile, their ability to help you with your problems, they're.. physical attributes. There could be a number of reasons. But there is some sort of force that attracts you to a person that often is difficult to extinguish.  But despite of it all, those wonderful attributes that they have, and the way they make you feel. All that fun and passion comes with a price.

So.. Watching a reality show one day or a preview of one. There seem to be so many. There is a common theme in the drama of the shows. Infidelity in relationships. So .. I began to ponder. Hey, why do men cheat? Why do women cheat? So here's how we're going to dig into this issue today. Ladies, Men, not putting this out here so you can start checking your significant other's phone or itemizing a check list to destroy them. It's just an open forum, we're just going to talk it out. Let's begin. First let's define what a RELATIONSHIP really is. A loose translation to a definition I read,  was like, "a sexual, or romantic friendship between 2 people". Note that the definition states that a relationship is comprised of two people, not six, not one main and a few dip offs. TWO PEOPLE. Now that we've gotten that out the way.. Let's continue The reasons I believe women cheat: 1. They are not receiving a consistent amount of attention

Have you ever had big news to share with friends or family and they totally didn't share in your orgasm of happiness? I'm sure we've all been there at some point in life. Sometimes it's actually you that's providing the "Voice of reason", "Giving the real". I don't know about you, but I'm just not built that way. I feel as though if something GREAT is happening in someone's life, and I've been a witness to it; I'm happy as if it were me! I mean why not? Energy can be transferred so I figure if it's close enough for me to hear about it, then it's close enough for it to get to me! I think I see the most of this type of HATER behavior on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, EVEN LINKED IN. You hear someone saying, " Ewe, so and so got a new job. Are they even qualified?". Who gives a hoot?! You should be trying to get those connections to see if there's room at that company for you? Or perhaps perk up your ow

Some people say as women, when you reach the age of 18 you are an adult. I looked up adulthood, and ran upon this very poetic definition. " Adulthood- mature and sensible, not childish" . So I took another second to think further.. have I reached adulthood? Am I sensible? I'd like to think that I am but you know.. that can be open for speculation! Growing up, I would try to find examples of strong, dignified poised women to map my maturity after, and for the most part, until I was about 20, I did my best to be just like all of those examples. Pulling my resources together and creating a super adult, a composite character of my most famed examples! A woman that holds her liquor, smart, speaks with purpose, spiritually connected, dresses to kill, and smokes a mean pack of cigarettes. (Now of course, that wasn't the part I was supposed to extract but go figure). Something like these chicks:  But in my early twenties I was more like.. (Get ready) This was more f