Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Internet is not broken! The Too Pregnant to Care Series

Instead of working, like I should be doing, I decided to speak to my good people. I would first like to apologize for my hiatus. I had so many things on my mind, that I neglected the simple discipline to actually write them down. Shameful really, I'm also expecting so I probably forgot to a few times.  I think saying   (I'm Expecting); while speaking to anyone gives you a free pass for everything! You're pulled over, " Officer I'm so sorry, I'm expecting, I'm so preoccupied with bringing life into the world, that I totally missed that light!", or, "Yes I'm eating an entire HAM, I'm expecting."

Let's dig into that a bit, can I tell you how irritating it is to be pregnant sometimes? There are people that are built for it, the ones who glow like the sunshine, and they're always happily prancing around with their barbecued turkey legs. They take pictures of themselves every 3 minutes reveling in the essence of life. That's totally cool I don't knock those individuals, but I'm not that philly. No sir. I actually don't like taking ten thousand bathroom breaks, having pregnant brain, and strange women surging towards my belly. With the purpose to whisper LOUDLY towards my belly. BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE RECOGNIZED BY YOUR BABY.. sorry it's strange lol. Super excited about bringing life into the world, but if there was a stork that could just knock on the door and send me a baby; that looks like a combination of myself and my husband I would have been great with that!

SORRY, I know how much people HATE dealing with pregnant women and their feelings so let's talk about more important things that I'm too pregnant to care about! (Joking but, not really).

Last week in pop culture:
1. Kim Kardashian's NAKEDNESS
2. The guy being DELIVERT from being gay
3. BATMAN Playing Moses in Exodus
4. Solange is married again
5.The Horrible Aaliyah Movie

Okay I'd say that was enough. Let's begin

1. Kim K. West ......... flatline. How is she still famous? Well, I'll tell you, because just when you think you've lost her, she pulls something out of her.... yeah.. you get where I'm going with this? She has a very nice shape, and I know by once binge watching her reality show that she really really wanted to be a model; but wasn't tall enough so her posing naked, may make sense to her and YEEZY but.. I'm just kinda over it. Honestly it's confusing young girls, of all creeds, if celebrity "role" models don't know when they've gone too far, how will our young girls really know? THEY WONT. (We'll get back to this on another post because this is kinda too much to deal with even a week later).

2. The guy who has singlehandedly ruined the perception of Christianity, Homosexuality, tailored suits, buying off the rack, bowties, proper grammar, and speaking in tongues. You only get half a bar. HAVE A SEAT. I wasn't born at night, or last night so I don't believe you're suddenly no longer gay, I don't believe anything you have to say sir, and shame on whomever began this viral sensation. I'm tired of the heart of religion being the brunt of everyone's jokes, people are literally fighting for religious freedom in other countries, and this man is mocking struggles that people endure on a daily basis. I'm too pregnant to care for that one too.

3. So I'm watching TV, catching up on General Hospital (YES I WATCH GH) . Low and behold I see a trailer with Batman (Christian Bale) casted as Moses in the new Exodus: GODS and KINGS film. Humn.. Batman as Moses. I'm sure he's going to do a great acting job, but there aren't any middle eastern actors we can borrow, or some new comers? I understand how film companies want to "spend a lot to get a lot" but give someone else a chance. I'll just wait until the movie comes out to make further decisions on this.

4. Solange's wedding. So apparently she married a video director named Alan Ferguson who is a VAMPIRE. I say this because he's "allegedly" 51 but he looks like a hot 29? Way to pull a banger Solange!
Hopefully their marriage will be just as wonderful as her wedding photos because she seriously KILT the GAME on those bad boys. The entire wedding party wore white, they arrived to the NOLA nuptials on BIKES, Hov was looking like an ebony male with the bowtie flicking. Blue Ivy's Fro was DYNAMITE, MOMMA TINA looked like, "THE BOMB" in my martin voice. Fabulous job overall. Check it out for yourself because it's seriously a treat! BEST POP CULTURE MOMENT OF THE WEEK! Not Tasty Krispy Creme Kardarshian Cakes and HAMs. BEYONCE'S little sister. This is what creative types do for attention. Take notice.
Solange Knowles

5. The lifetime Aaliyah movie. I didn't watch it, and honestly the outrage from my social media outlets gave me the impression that watching it will take years off of my life, so.. I'm good on that. Apparently, Wendy Williams was a producer on the film and everyone is ready to rake her over the coals and I will be watching that. True it's going to give Wendy's show great ratings but you know what, I want to see how she's going to waltz out of this one. Wendy Williams has been clowning people for the longest, and people are designed for pay back. This should be interesting.

Alright guys, that's my round up! This series is going to be called the "Too Pregnant to Care!" Hope you got a kick out of it..Like Comment and Share.