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Phone Check! (Is it right to check your mate's phone?)

Here's the thing, needing to know what your partner is doing, every minute of every day is not healthy. You should not need to audit every piece of communication they have. To me that does not sound like peace. It sounds like a stressful chaotic bout of paranoia that's guaranteed to keep you unhappy so long as the relationship exists. Privacy in a relationship, specifically when it comes to checking one's cell phone/email messages/pictures/social media page should not be violated.  (Ever notice how many options we have now? I think back in the day all you could check was the mail!) There are many reasons why people feel as though they NEED to seek "evidence of mistrust" but should you really do it? I took a poll about this on social media,  most people do not admit to going through their mates phones/social network pages/photo galleries etc. However, those who do, rationalize the action by saying, "If I'm suspicious, and I want to find something o
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The Internet is not broken! The Too Pregnant to Care Series

Instead of working, like I should be doing, I decided to speak to my good people. I would first like to apologize for my hiatus. I had so many things on my mind, that I neglected the simple discipline to actually write them down. Shameful really, I'm also expecting so I probably forgot to a few times.  I think saying   (I'm Expecting); while speaking to anyone gives you a free pass for everything! You're pulled over, " Officer I'm so sorry, I'm expecting, I'm so preoccupied with bringing life into the world, that I totally missed that light!", or, "Yes I'm eating an entire HAM, I'm expecting." Let's dig into that a bit, can I tell you how irritating it is to be pregnant sometimes? There are people that are built for it, the ones who glow like the sunshine, and they're always happily prancing around with their barbecued turkey legs. They take pictures of themselves every 3 minutes reveling in the essence of life. That

Sasha Fierce in the Bedroom (Ladies Lounge)

For those of you who are outwardly prudish or aren't comfortable with having an adult discussion about sex, I suggest you closeout  right now. It's going to going to start to feel like the red room in a minute. (NOT REALLY)  I was hesitant about writing a post like this, because I shudder at the thought to think that my christian friends, aunties, and coworkers, will get the wrong impression of who I am. However, I'm quite proud of being a sexual human being, and I'm proud of sharing some of the knowledge I have. Hopefully it'll open up dialogue enough to learn some new things from my cyber friends as well. Have you ever wanted to spice up your relationship and just can't come up with anything that makes you comfortable? He  may have suggested something to you, and you just don't feel comfortable?  Sisterfriends, you have to channel your feminine mystique and let go of the good girl image. Here's a suggestion, become someone else. A lot of couples us

Robin Thicke's Problems!

#Robin Thicke for those of you who aren't familiar; is Justin Timberlake's more soulful, seemingly more mature doppelganger. Recently he and his wife, Paula Patton have separated and he's channeled all of his energy into trying to get her back. On every new single he's released and in every public appearance he looks like he's lost his best friend. Basically, he's looking like a swag-less pitiful shell of a person due to a bunch of bad decisions. Not really clear on what happened exactly but given the new music he's come out with it, he's compromised the security she felt with being married to a "sex symbol". And let's be clear on something, he wasn't a sex symbol in high school when they first started their relationship. Over time, and most likely due to her help, he became a super star. Don't get me wrong , he did the work, he had the skill, but he was motivated due in part by a very strong support system. My question isn'

Someone Help Chris Brown!

While reading through my Facebook newsfeed, and the blogs I subscribe to, I found out that Chris Brown was released from jail a few days ago. Due to his probation violation tied to the domestic violence charge received in 2009. I'm going to get down and dirty about this, so those of you who are tired of people loving on a domestic abuser stop reading. Warning given, let's proceed. I don't know Chris Brown personally, but I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a fan of his music and GOD given ability to dance his socks off. So as a result of this, I am worried about him. It's something about a black man that you can see literally self destruct before your eyes that is hard to ignore. He went from, a sweet face, Pepsi selling, double mint gum chewing, dance fiend; to an angry tattoo clad adult. I have a young son, who's face is just as sweet and innocent as Chris' was; so as a mom, I'm anxiously awaiting his turn around, as if he was my own baby. Too ma

The Epitome of Grace: Rest in Peace Maya Angelou

Remembering Literary Royalty  My first blog post if you can recall mentioned my need to emulate the poise of my idols who impacted my childhood. Maya, who served as more of a friend, and a mentor, to many women, over her 40 plus year literary tenure is so special, that her name immediately provides me peace. There are many things that can be said about her, and like, many influential people the news of her passing has brought a wave of bittersweet remembrance. We are all selfish of our own personal memories of her. But her work, still lives on, but like the timeless angel she is, we all expected her to live , in the present form forever. At 86 years of age, she was called to her truest form today. She will be surely be missed by those who have been touched by her words, be it written or oratory. When I first met Maya, I was an inquisitive young girl who noticed, that my mother had several books written by her, all with yellow pages. So by then they were obviously very old. I

The No Kissing Rule: Does this really work?

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend who was giving me an update on a budding relationship. She's a strong independent woman who has decided to have a physical relationship with a man, but to maintain a publicly platonic relationship (sex with no strings). She says that she doesn't want to get any emotional attachments with the man so she's been having problem with him kissing her in the mouth. (The first thought I had of this was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) . Anyhow, she says that kissing is far too intimate and would rather not be that close to him. The wheels started to turn in my head and I thought, humn, I should do some research on this. And so I did, I polled about 15 people for a mini research project( only the folks that know my questions can sometimes, get sexual and they wouldn't cringe by participating). So guess what I asked them?  1. Do you believe kissing is more intimate than sex?  2. Can you have sex with someone for the firs