Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Robin Thicke's Problems!

#Robin Thicke for those of you who aren't familiar; is Justin Timberlake's more soulful, seemingly more mature doppelganger. Recently he and his wife, Paula Patton have separated and he's channeled all of his energy into trying to get her back. On every new single he's released and in every public appearance he looks like he's lost his best friend. Basically, he's looking like a swag-less pitiful shell of a person due to a bunch of bad decisions.

Not really clear on what happened exactly but given the new music he's come out with it, he's compromised the security she felt with being married to a "sex symbol". And let's be clear on something, he wasn't a sex symbol in high school when they first started their relationship. Over time, and most likely due to her help, he became a super star. Don't get me wrong , he did the work, he had the skill, but he was motivated due in part by a very strong support system. My question isn't really about what he did, it's more about how could this heartache been avoided? 

I have a theory. Relationships are like a plant. In order to keep a plant alive, you have a few responsibilities. You talk to it, give it the proper light, water it, and make sure the plant is always in a climate that promotes growth. Now here's how we apply this metaphor to real life in relationships. 

1. "Talking to it " Communication. Without communication, you really cannot go very far in a relationship. You have to talk to each other when you're happy, sad, or have a conflict. Without communication, your relationship will fail. 

2. "Give it the Proper Light and water" Now, here I mean, in order for both parties to be secure in the union both parties need some validation. Meaning if you don't tell your partner that you love them, or that they are special to you, how will they know? Guessing is not a feasible option. This is not that complicated, you can do it in however manner your mate has communicated to you, that they like to feel special (ie, a surprise text message, some flowers, a high five when they do a good job, publicly acknowledging your love), seriously anything will help. But it's very important to not stop doing this. Like the old saying is, "The same thing you did to get the girl, is the same thing you need to do to keep her." This rings true for both parties in a relationship. 

3. "Make sure the plant is always in the climate that promotes growth" This means, if you're a famous person like, Robin Thicke, you're not seen on TMZ grabbing booties, or letting little Miley twerk on you publicly for all the world to see. Now, if you're not a celebrity the same thing applies. If you're in a relationship and you're not home enough for your mate to talk to you, or you spend more time trying to be popular, you're actually not giving the relationship the environment it needs to flourish. You can end up planting a seed of doubt which in turn murders the other two steps. Depicting a playboy lifestyle as Robin Thicke did, did not help his relationship at all. The irony is, you don't see Paula Patton throwing her loves scenes with Denzel Washington in his face! She did her job, and went home. That's what you're supposed to do in a marriage. Don't entertain temptation, because in the end, it will undoubtedly get you in a "Smart phones don't cheat" Trey Songz type of issue. This is the equivalent to telling a toddler not to touch the stove, what happens when they do? They get burnt. 

Like I said before , I don't know exactly what happened with this relationship; but I do believe that somewhere along the way Paula Patton and Robin Thicke may have missed a step or two. They were married for long time so it's easy to not apply the TLC that's needed for people with really busy lives. In the end though, it's very necessary for the relationship to grow. Often times people assume that once you've married a person, or have spent a considerable length of time in a relationship; the work is done. Completely untrue, there's a reason why it's referred to as a labor of love.. There's actually work involved! If treated properly, you'll avoid crying at pianos like Robin Thicke because you took your relationship for granted. 

I truly hope they find their way back together. Or at least mend fences well enough to provide stable parenting for their adorable toddler. I'm sure this misery is going to make his music AWESOME. But I'm not the type to prey on the misery of other's for my own entertainment.

In short, don't let your love fern die! (How to loose a guy in 10 days! Best movie ever) . 

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