For those of you who are outwardly prudish or aren't comfortable with having an adult discussion about sex, I suggest you closeout right now. It's going to going to start to feel like the red room in a minute. (NOT REALLY) I was hesitant about writing a post like this, because I shudder at the thought to think that my christian friends, aunties, and coworkers, will get the wrong impression of who I am. However, I'm quite proud of being a sexual human being, and I'm proud of sharing some of the knowledge I have. Hopefully it'll open up dialogue enough to learn some new things from my cyber friends as well.
Have you ever wanted to spice up your relationship and just can't come up with anything that makes you comfortable? He may have suggested something to you, and you just don't feel comfortable? Sisterfriends, you have to channel your feminine mystique and let go of the good girl image.
Here's a suggestion, become someone else. A lot of couples use role playing to eliminate the embarrassment of trying new things sexually. This doesn't mean you have wear costumes or anything like that. but.. maybe try an ALTER EGO. Maybe when you're pleasing him, you're playing your favorite erotic r&b song to help you zone out, maybe you've watched those Angel TalksMidnight videos. (You know the grapefruit lady?) Sidebar, if you haven't seen them, I'd advise you to check her out, she's a mastermind seriously. Maybe, your partner isn't quite getting you to the goal line, TELL HIM. If you have to be someone else in your mind, then use that to be your motivation to get you in the 6 (Football reference). As people we all have a fair amount of sexual fantasies, well take some time out to bring them to the forefront of your reality.
(NOTE: DON'T TURN IT ON FOR SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW. THIS IS CATERED TO THE SPECIAL MAN IN YOUR LIFE. NEVER PULL YOUR TRICKS OUT TOO EARLY)
Like Beyonce has Sasha Fierce when she's on stage, try your own personal version of a sexual personality. This will help you become more uninhibited. You'll be more willing to take more sexual risks, and guess what, your partner will be stunned because you'll suddenly behave like a person he doesn't know. AND HE'LL LOVE IT! By doing this, you've mentally traveled into another consciousness opening up your prowless. You're not a good girl anymore, you're like Rihanna's more mature sister, ready and willing to do whatever you want to do, to ask for what you need, and to please that special guy in your life. Remember ladies, variety in a relationship can often times curb a man's appetite for other women. Why would he step out if you're 3 different chicks? He shouldn't need anyone else. His woman is literally the woman of his dreams! lol
There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual fantasies! I truly believe that it helps you become a more daring individual overall. Whenever you can over come a fear, no matter what it is, it makes your next obstacle that much easier to defeat. Becoming pigeonholed in the idea that women cannot be who they want to be, because they have to fit in a specific mold is insanity. Why not try the things you like, with the man you like? There are so many conflicts that involve everyday life, and at best you should be able to be free for an hour or two.
The alter ego is just to help you get outside the box. It's more so about your willingness to see another side of yourself. You don't have to be what everyone one thinks of you all the time. You never do actually. You can be whatever you want to be. It's your life, don't waste it on trying to please other people. Sexuality is your right as a woman. You earned it, through every cycle of your growth, every curve in your figure, and the strength of your own mind. So embody your inner sexiness, let her come out and play. And don't do it because he wants you to, do it because YOU WANT TO.
Remember sexual freedom is at your disposal. Enjoy your night ladies, don't forget to stretch!